Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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