Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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