Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
They should really pass out barf bags in church
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
