She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
