fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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