Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
