I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
