new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
