Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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