yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
