batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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