Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
