The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
