no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i drank out of a bidet.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
