i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
