unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
