OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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