He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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