Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
