oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
