She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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