...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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