so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
