If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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