this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
