this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
