your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
