okay pat passed out under dana's car
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
