Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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