Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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