it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
