what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
