I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have already put on my inside pants.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize