I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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