im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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