now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
