im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I smell like Dick and happiness
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
