I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
