I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
