I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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