Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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