is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize