I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
