I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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