so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
