Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we're making bets on your personal life
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
