In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
