Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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