you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
