I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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