I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
