Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we're making bets on your personal life
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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