I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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