Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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