we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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