please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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