Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
