Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
