GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
