I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
