Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
