beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
