I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Come share oat with me in your robe
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
