I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
