Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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