He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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