Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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