so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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